I don’t always have people readily available to watch my daughter while I’m at work or if I wanted to do something for a few hours during the day. Because of this I either have to rearrange my plans or take her with me. Sometimes I wonder at what age I can leave her at home by her self. My parents for some reason have developed some type of collective amnesia, and feel that I am crazy to think that my daughter can come home from school by her self and wait until I arrive. What they don’t remember is that they left my younger brother and me at home when I was in the third grade. I was responsible for ensuring that we got to and from school safely. My baby is in the Fifth grade, and I am extremely aware of the changes in times and the dangers that are in the streets right now, but at the same time a little responsibility is a good for her in my opinion. I’m not suggesting overnight or long extended periods of time, just for a few hours during the day. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think we coddle children today. What I don’t want to do is put her in harms way just to prove a point. So if any one have any suggestions send them my way THANKS!!! Essence of Fatherhood

No Way No How

The other day I was driving in the car with my daughter, and she asked me;, “Daddy where did you go the other day?” I began to explain to her that I went on a date. She asked me if she could meet her. I explained to her that I would not introduce her to anyone until I felt it was appropriate. This is when the conversation gets interesting. The child than asked me when can she start dating. Huh? “When can I start dating? My mommy said when I turn thirteen. “ And my reply was not ever no way no how and over my dead body. I thought that was an extremely articulate way of handling that situation. So the question is, what age is appropriate to allow my daughter to start dating? I say between the ages of 16-18. Don’t get me wrong, I know she will probably try way before then. But I will be damned if I co-sign onto anything earlier. I spend way too much time substitute teaching these kids, and the things that come out their mouths are reckless. They take rachetness to a whole new level! These boys compared to me are goons, and I know what I was on at 13,14,15,16…….. I promise you I will be out here letting round loose. Some people may disagree with me or have anger towards this next statement, but I outright told my baby “I ain’t raising a hoe” and I was not on BS. I refuse to be one of those dudes that has a daughter wild and partaking in debauchery. So, what do I do to curtail her desire of dating? I already know she is attractive to boys, and these cats are already on my baby. She has blossomed since her mother passed away and she looks 13 already. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If any has any suggestions send them my way, and PRAY FOR ME!

The Dating Game

Hello friends. Today’s post is a little selfish, and also personal. I am a single father, and I want to date. The problem is I do not know how too successfully. These are the facts, 50% of my week is spent working two jobs that utterly can not stand or am paid enough for, and the rest of my time is spent looking for work in the field that I actually received my MBA in; Marketing, or contemplating / researching getting another degree in education since I’m already a substitute teacher and I feel like I’m missing something; “Raising a little woman”. As you can see that leaves very little time to pursue dating and looking for a significant other. Many people have told me that I should put aside that notion and focus specifically on raising my beautiful daughter and making her the best woman she can be. I say that is in the words of my grandparent hog wash. When I go into an interview I inform the interviewer that one of my skill sets is the ability to multi-task, handle a plethora of responsibilities and deliver on measurable goals. Well the measurable goal in this instance is to have a family. I am being honest. I can not be the best person or father if my entire day is spent going to work, then coming home and parenting. Don’t get me wrong I love parenting, but there has to be more. Quick example, today I left one of my jobs went to the gym worked out for over an hour picked my baby up from her grandparents and felt rejuvenated. Human beings need to release that energy, enjoy some free time “R&R”. The problem is where I squeeze it in. I am your typical monogamous dater, I find someone I like and I assume she is attracted to me and after a period of going through the feeling out stage I determine that she is match, and then I focus like a missile on making that relationship work. After crashing and burning on several attempts I decided to try a different method. Just date, go out on as many dates as possible with as many woman as possible. There are a few negatives in that option; 1) I HAVE NO DAMN TIME!- I have one maybe two day a week in which after handling business I have a couple of hours of free time. You can’t date randomly on that schedule. 2) Secondly I have never been a juggler. I’m just not good at it, some how some way I end of doing something dumb as hell. Example, you will not receive I plead the fifth. 3) And lastly but more important, only three women have ever actually had the pleasure of meeting my baby. One of them, the encounter happened so long ago she doesn’t remember the second girl was one of my best friends so the transition was seamless. And the last, well I thought I was done looking, but that’s a whole other ball of wax. Bottom line is I’m screwed. So lately I tell women about my situation early. I thought it was best to inform them now so if they decide to run, whatever! I have been informed that I should hold off on doing that until maybe we actually know each other. Who knew! I need help America, or very close friends and former classmates who take the time out to read my little blog. Boog wants to date. But not just for me though. I had the pleasure of have two parents, so while I am aware that I have insecurities, and am flawed. I am still well adjusted, that is because what my mom missed my father picked up the slack on. I would like that help, there is stuff that I just will not understand, if I have some one close too assist that would be nice. So if you have any suggestions help a brother out, and follow the blog people it’s lonely and needs you company! Essence of Fatherhood