Money Well Spent or Is It?

Every month I go over my financial statement, and attempt to create a budget. How much I spent on food, did I pay all of my bills or did I make partial payments (you know enough to keep the lights on)? The one thing I can’t account for is how much I’m going to spend on an eleven year old girl!!! Every time I think I’m good she comes waltzing in my room with another request for cash. The most annoying thing is her requests are not outrageous. My daughter isn’t one of those kids always begging for things and throwing hissy fits in department stores. I just get frustrated when I’ve allocated cash for something I wanted, and like a bill collector here comes the baby “I need knee pads for volleyball”, or “The basketball team is taking pictures today even though I just paid for regular school pictures two weeks ago” WHEN DOES IT END! It starts to anger me because I don’t want to be a tight pocket, always complaining about not having money. That will affect her and eventually she will stop asking to participate in extracurricular activities. So what does that mean; Daddy has to bring in more bread. I haven’t even mentioned our daddy daughter dates, that sometimes include a classmate. Don’t get me wrong seeing her smile is definitely worth it, but Poppa wants a new pair of shoes (actually brown combat boots from ASOS). The worse thing is I haven’t started her college fund yet, the goal is to start investing in monthly savings bonds so by the time she is eighteen paying for college isn’t such a financial burden on her or me. This is my arena to vent, now that I got it off my chest back to the drawing board!

Rock Star Baby!

Today’s post is a joyous one. My little lady really wants to be an entertainer. She pours her heart and soul into it. I truly want this dream to come true for her, more than anything else in the world. My daughter is consistently on the Honor Roll, so I truly doubt her grades will slip. She just completed a concert for me performing a medley of songs; Jill Scott, Whitney Houston, and even R. Kelly “I Believe I Can Fly”. She choreographed her dance steps, and serenaded her daddy! She has been doing this for years, writing her own music, bringing groups of her friends together to perform in front of the entire family. I was tired and wanted to go to bed earlier after a long uneventful and draining day. Her performance and energy picked me up and got me cleaning and handling business. These are the moments when fatherhood puts a smile on your face and chills your heart. I have a girl that definitely knows how to drive me crazy, but mostly she makes me the proudest DAD IN THE WORLD. I appreciate you young lady and kudos to her and her spirit!!!!! Essence of Fatherhood

Honor Roll Baby!!

Today was report card pick up for my daughter, and once again she proved to her father how strong, determined, and intelligent she truly is. HONOR ROLL BABBBY!!!! My excitement goes way beyond her ability to comprehend a teacher’s lesson plan, or her knowledge of general subjects. It’s her ability to adapt like know one else I have ever seen. Too know fault of her own she has attended six schools in the past fives years, because of the inability of her parents to provide her with stability (I will take total blame for that). And yet she continues to strive in all arenas. The little girl makes friends quickly, teachers ask me how did I raise such an angel (I take credit for it, but it’s all her), and parents plead with me to let her spend time with them, and there children, claiming they want some of her to rub off on their kids. I am astonished with this girl’s character. Her future is bright; all I have to do is not get in her way. I truly believe that, if I provide her with the tools necessary, and give her the love and guidance all children needs she will be a beast. I am truly at a lost for words. I can’t explain logically how I feel except to say “My baby is a beast”. These are the moments all parents should leave for. There are times when I am frustrated, and tired. The duties and obligations never stop, and she goes through my pockets like a freight train. But for now on I will take a deep breath and remember how much she has been through and the fact that her grades have never been nothing but excellent. “Daddies little Goon”.

She Lied to Me!

So I usually post my blog on Tuesday, but because of the election and I was busy it’s going up today. That is actually a good thing because I wasn’t sure what too talk about until now. My daughter had a Facebook page about six months ago, and was posting things that I didn’t agree with. Because of her recklessness on Facebook she was forced to delete her page. Which leads us to today, I went into her room because I needed my phone for a minute, and guess what; this little girl has a whole new Facebook page!!! This is my problem. I went through her page and it’s much cleaner than it was. I want her to have freedom, and as parents we can’t micromanage everything. Don’t get me wrong the girl will be on punishment probably some manual labor, but I think I’m going to give her the opportunity to prove that she can handle a Facebook page. Also she don’t know I have access, I can ease drop without her knowing (that’s the sneaky father in me). So for now she will be able to keep her page, and we will see what happens next. Essence of Fatherhood

Clothes Don't Make The Person

I am tired of people telling me or my community, better yet my race what our young ladies can wear. My daughter likes to dress comfortably, and sometimes, people look at me and say why did you let her leave the house like that (mostly my parents and older individuals). Essence spends 85% of her time with me, and the rest with my parents or close relatives. I’m not ignorant to the fact that we have an epidemic in our society with young African American women dressing and also acting in an inappropriate manner. The problem is that sometimes we add pressure on our children that isn’t needed. I use to work in the south suburbs, everyday young ladies from other races, even young black girls would walk into my store wearing those volleyball shorts with the name across the bottom and small shirts. The funny thing is not a single person paid any attention to them. If a young girl in Enlgewood was to walk into Ultra Foods we would think “what is wrong with her mother”. Lets not judge so quickly. Yes, we do not live in the bubble called the suburbs, but if we continue to make our girls think they are going to become little prostitutes “It just might happen”. Parents should watch thier children behavior, monitor the people they communicate with, and make sure they are raising little ladies. My baby never leaves the house naked, but if it’s hot outside and she wants to put on the volleyball shorts I’m not going to trip and go crazy. If her shirt hangs off her shoulder don’t tell me how old she is, I was in the damn hospital room. She is a little lady, smart, sweet, and respectable. You would have to be blind to not recognize she has a figure, and because of that, unless I make her walk around in a blanket, you can tell she has a shape. The girl will be OK, if you read an older blog I will not raise a fast child. I’m watching, SO DON’T BOTHER ME!!!

I don’t always have people readily available to watch my daughter while I’m at work or if I wanted to do something for a few hours during the day. Because of this I either have to rearrange my plans or take her with me. Sometimes I wonder at what age I can leave her at home by her self. My parents for some reason have developed some type of collective amnesia, and feel that I am crazy to think that my daughter can come home from school by her self and wait until I arrive. What they don’t remember is that they left my younger brother and me at home when I was in the third grade. I was responsible for ensuring that we got to and from school safely. My baby is in the Fifth grade, and I am extremely aware of the changes in times and the dangers that are in the streets right now, but at the same time a little responsibility is a good for her in my opinion. I’m not suggesting overnight or long extended periods of time, just for a few hours during the day. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think we coddle children today. What I don’t want to do is put her in harms way just to prove a point. So if any one have any suggestions send them my way THANKS!!! Essence of Fatherhood

No Way No How

The other day I was driving in the car with my daughter, and she asked me;, “Daddy where did you go the other day?” I began to explain to her that I went on a date. She asked me if she could meet her. I explained to her that I would not introduce her to anyone until I felt it was appropriate. This is when the conversation gets interesting. The child than asked me when can she start dating. Huh? “When can I start dating? My mommy said when I turn thirteen. “ And my reply was not ever no way no how and over my dead body. I thought that was an extremely articulate way of handling that situation. So the question is, what age is appropriate to allow my daughter to start dating? I say between the ages of 16-18. Don’t get me wrong, I know she will probably try way before then. But I will be damned if I co-sign onto anything earlier. I spend way too much time substitute teaching these kids, and the things that come out their mouths are reckless. They take rachetness to a whole new level! These boys compared to me are goons, and I know what I was on at 13,14,15,16…….. I promise you I will be out here letting round loose. Some people may disagree with me or have anger towards this next statement, but I outright told my baby “I ain’t raising a hoe” and I was not on BS. I refuse to be one of those dudes that has a daughter wild and partaking in debauchery. So, what do I do to curtail her desire of dating? I already know she is attractive to boys, and these cats are already on my baby. She has blossomed since her mother passed away and she looks 13 already. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If any has any suggestions send them my way, and PRAY FOR ME!

The Dating Game

Hello friends. Today’s post is a little selfish, and also personal. I am a single father, and I want to date. The problem is I do not know how too successfully. These are the facts, 50% of my week is spent working two jobs that utterly can not stand or am paid enough for, and the rest of my time is spent looking for work in the field that I actually received my MBA in; Marketing, or contemplating / researching getting another degree in education since I’m already a substitute teacher and I feel like I’m missing something; “Raising a little woman”. As you can see that leaves very little time to pursue dating and looking for a significant other. Many people have told me that I should put aside that notion and focus specifically on raising my beautiful daughter and making her the best woman she can be. I say that is in the words of my grandparent hog wash. When I go into an interview I inform the interviewer that one of my skill sets is the ability to multi-task, handle a plethora of responsibilities and deliver on measurable goals. Well the measurable goal in this instance is to have a family. I am being honest. I can not be the best person or father if my entire day is spent going to work, then coming home and parenting. Don’t get me wrong I love parenting, but there has to be more. Quick example, today I left one of my jobs went to the gym worked out for over an hour picked my baby up from her grandparents and felt rejuvenated. Human beings need to release that energy, enjoy some free time “R&R”. The problem is where I squeeze it in. I am your typical monogamous dater, I find someone I like and I assume she is attracted to me and after a period of going through the feeling out stage I determine that she is match, and then I focus like a missile on making that relationship work. After crashing and burning on several attempts I decided to try a different method. Just date, go out on as many dates as possible with as many woman as possible. There are a few negatives in that option; 1) I HAVE NO DAMN TIME!- I have one maybe two day a week in which after handling business I have a couple of hours of free time. You can’t date randomly on that schedule. 2) Secondly I have never been a juggler. I’m just not good at it, some how some way I end of doing something dumb as hell. Example, you will not receive I plead the fifth. 3) And lastly but more important, only three women have ever actually had the pleasure of meeting my baby. One of them, the encounter happened so long ago she doesn’t remember the second girl was one of my best friends so the transition was seamless. And the last, well I thought I was done looking, but that’s a whole other ball of wax. Bottom line is I’m screwed. So lately I tell women about my situation early. I thought it was best to inform them now so if they decide to run, whatever! I have been informed that I should hold off on doing that until maybe we actually know each other. Who knew! I need help America, or very close friends and former classmates who take the time out to read my little blog. Boog wants to date. But not just for me though. I had the pleasure of have two parents, so while I am aware that I have insecurities, and am flawed. I am still well adjusted, that is because what my mom missed my father picked up the slack on. I would like that help, there is stuff that I just will not understand, if I have some one close too assist that would be nice. So if you have any suggestions help a brother out, and follow the blog people it’s lonely and needs you company! Essence of Fatherhood