Threes Company?

Last week social media went crazy with discussion over the pictures of Russell Wilson, star quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks and his relationship with the child of Ciara and rapper Future. Most people I've spoken with have taken sides on the matter. I figured there was no better time than now for me to add my two cents;

Double standard 
If the shoe was on the other foot and Russell was bringing his son to watch his beautiful new girlfriend during a video shoot and junior was rocking an ATL shirt and Ciara gave the young man a hug would there be a big deal? Does anyone remember Will and Jada or Russell Simmons and his family makeup?

The Grey Area 
This is all speculation. Folks on both sides are jumping to conclusions based on a few Instagram pics and some 160 character tweets. I personally need more information before I CALL Russell a punk or infer that he's overstepping certain boundaries.

A Father’s point of view 
I've actually been on both sides of the equation. And the most important thing is the child, and that all adults involved in the situation are putting aside ego, revenge or any other petty issue and is focusing on the wellbeing of the baby! I personally wouldn't have an issue because Russ and I would have spoken and he would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm here doing my job and all parenting decisions will be made by the paternal parents. But if you're a good dude and respect those boundaries please treat my child as you would your own.

Money Well Spent or Is It?

Every month I go over my financial statement, and attempt to create a budget. How much I spent on food, did I pay all of my bills or did I make partial payments (you know enough to keep the lights on)? The one thing I can’t account for is how much I’m going to spend on an eleven year old girl!!! Every time I think I’m good she comes waltzing in my room with another request for cash. The most annoying thing is her requests are not outrageous. My daughter isn’t one of those kids always begging for things and throwing hissy fits in department stores. I just get frustrated when I’ve allocated cash for something I wanted, and like a bill collector here comes the baby “I need knee pads for volleyball”, or “The basketball team is taking pictures today even though I just paid for regular school pictures two weeks ago” WHEN DOES IT END! It starts to anger me because I don’t want to be a tight pocket, always complaining about not having money. That will affect her and eventually she will stop asking to participate in extracurricular activities. So what does that mean; Daddy has to bring in more bread. I haven’t even mentioned our daddy daughter dates, that sometimes include a classmate. Don’t get me wrong seeing her smile is definitely worth it, but Poppa wants a new pair of shoes (actually brown combat boots from ASOS). The worse thing is I haven’t started her college fund yet, the goal is to start investing in monthly savings bonds so by the time she is eighteen paying for college isn’t such a financial burden on her or me. This is my arena to vent, now that I got it off my chest back to the drawing board!

Rock Star Baby!

Today’s post is a joyous one. My little lady really wants to be an entertainer. She pours her heart and soul into it. I truly want this dream to come true for her, more than anything else in the world. My daughter is consistently on the Honor Roll, so I truly doubt her grades will slip. She just completed a concert for me performing a medley of songs; Jill Scott, Whitney Houston, and even R. Kelly “I Believe I Can Fly”. She choreographed her dance steps, and serenaded her daddy! She has been doing this for years, writing her own music, bringing groups of her friends together to perform in front of the entire family. I was tired and wanted to go to bed earlier after a long uneventful and draining day. Her performance and energy picked me up and got me cleaning and handling business. These are the moments when fatherhood puts a smile on your face and chills your heart. I have a girl that definitely knows how to drive me crazy, but mostly she makes me the proudest DAD IN THE WORLD. I appreciate you young lady and kudos to her and her spirit!!!!! Essence of Fatherhood

Honor Roll Baby!!

Today was report card pick up for my daughter, and once again she proved to her father how strong, determined, and intelligent she truly is. HONOR ROLL BABBBY!!!! My excitement goes way beyond her ability to comprehend a teacher’s lesson plan, or her knowledge of general subjects. It’s her ability to adapt like know one else I have ever seen. Too know fault of her own she has attended six schools in the past fives years, because of the inability of her parents to provide her with stability (I will take total blame for that). And yet she continues to strive in all arenas. The little girl makes friends quickly, teachers ask me how did I raise such an angel (I take credit for it, but it’s all her), and parents plead with me to let her spend time with them, and there children, claiming they want some of her to rub off on their kids. I am astonished with this girl’s character. Her future is bright; all I have to do is not get in her way. I truly believe that, if I provide her with the tools necessary, and give her the love and guidance all children needs she will be a beast. I am truly at a lost for words. I can’t explain logically how I feel except to say “My baby is a beast”. These are the moments all parents should leave for. There are times when I am frustrated, and tired. The duties and obligations never stop, and she goes through my pockets like a freight train. But for now on I will take a deep breath and remember how much she has been through and the fact that her grades have never been nothing but excellent. “Daddies little Goon”.

She Lied to Me!

So I usually post my blog on Tuesday, but because of the election and I was busy it’s going up today. That is actually a good thing because I wasn’t sure what too talk about until now. My daughter had a Facebook page about six months ago, and was posting things that I didn’t agree with. Because of her recklessness on Facebook she was forced to delete her page. Which leads us to today, I went into her room because I needed my phone for a minute, and guess what; this little girl has a whole new Facebook page!!! This is my problem. I went through her page and it’s much cleaner than it was. I want her to have freedom, and as parents we can’t micromanage everything. Don’t get me wrong the girl will be on punishment probably some manual labor, but I think I’m going to give her the opportunity to prove that she can handle a Facebook page. Also she don’t know I have access, I can ease drop without her knowing (that’s the sneaky father in me). So for now she will be able to keep her page, and we will see what happens next. Essence of Fatherhood

Clothes Don't Make The Person

I am tired of people telling me or my community, better yet my race what our young ladies can wear. My daughter likes to dress comfortably, and sometimes, people look at me and say why did you let her leave the house like that (mostly my parents and older individuals). Essence spends 85% of her time with me, and the rest with my parents or close relatives. I’m not ignorant to the fact that we have an epidemic in our society with young African American women dressing and also acting in an inappropriate manner. The problem is that sometimes we add pressure on our children that isn’t needed. I use to work in the south suburbs, everyday young ladies from other races, even young black girls would walk into my store wearing those volleyball shorts with the name across the bottom and small shirts. The funny thing is not a single person paid any attention to them. If a young girl in Enlgewood was to walk into Ultra Foods we would think “what is wrong with her mother”. Lets not judge so quickly. Yes, we do not live in the bubble called the suburbs, but if we continue to make our girls think they are going to become little prostitutes “It just might happen”. Parents should watch thier children behavior, monitor the people they communicate with, and make sure they are raising little ladies. My baby never leaves the house naked, but if it’s hot outside and she wants to put on the volleyball shorts I’m not going to trip and go crazy. If her shirt hangs off her shoulder don’t tell me how old she is, I was in the damn hospital room. She is a little lady, smart, sweet, and respectable. You would have to be blind to not recognize she has a figure, and because of that, unless I make her walk around in a blanket, you can tell she has a shape. The girl will be OK, if you read an older blog I will not raise a fast child. I’m watching, SO DON’T BOTHER ME!!!

I don’t always have people readily available to watch my daughter while I’m at work or if I wanted to do something for a few hours during the day. Because of this I either have to rearrange my plans or take her with me. Sometimes I wonder at what age I can leave her at home by her self. My parents for some reason have developed some type of collective amnesia, and feel that I am crazy to think that my daughter can come home from school by her self and wait until I arrive. What they don’t remember is that they left my younger brother and me at home when I was in the third grade. I was responsible for ensuring that we got to and from school safely. My baby is in the Fifth grade, and I am extremely aware of the changes in times and the dangers that are in the streets right now, but at the same time a little responsibility is a good for her in my opinion. I’m not suggesting overnight or long extended periods of time, just for a few hours during the day. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think we coddle children today. What I don’t want to do is put her in harms way just to prove a point. So if any one have any suggestions send them my way THANKS!!! Essence of Fatherhood